America was abuzz this past Wednesday as what appeared to be an angel flashed an ominous message across millions of TV screens: Vegans (Heart) Simon.

But who was this masked vegan? How did she get so pretty? And why were her graffiti skills so toy?  Oh, wait, I wasn’t masked. Bespectacled, maybe.

American Idol Parking Lot

As everyone knows, I am an American Idol devotee. Not for the beginning part, where they are mocking the barely cognizant, but I love the Cinderella story aspect of it, even though in truth I thought Cinderella looked better in rags. In any case, I like watching the singers go from average karaoke to rock star amazing. I get chills hearing them hit notes they didn’t know they could, watching their hair go from greasy to spiked, frizzy to flat-ironed. Just the whole thing. And so getting to be in the audience was pretty much the tits for me. And I am still hyperventilating from getting my vegan sign on TV!

To top it all of, Simon winked at me and blew me two kisses! I think they got me pregnant.

So did you catch it? And does anyone know if it’s online anywheres?